"Bhai, aaji ta double party heba," Revant exploded with happiness, holding the card from Hridayansh's hand like a victory.

("Brother, we are having double party today.")

"Let's read his like you did with mine," Karthik smirked and snatched the card.

I did not look at Hridayansh at all since the moment he came back from the stage after receiving the card.

My card.

I do not have the courage to, yet. Now I can understand what Lavanya must be going through.

He must have figured out from the handwriting who'd given him this letter. And that is one major reason I don't want to meet eyes with him yet.

"Behave normally, Ips. He's gonna doubt on you for sure," Taarini murmured into my ear, half-scolding and half-smiling.

Her warning instantly forced me to break into a polite smile on my face. The one which I usually put on my face to fake my emotions.

I let out a breath of nervousness looking at her helplessly.

There, on second floor, Lavanya must be regretting so badly. And here, right in front of Hridayansh, I'm getting super duper nervous.

Whatever it is, the bad luck is heavier on my side.

"Ahmm, ahmm," Karthik clearing his throat brought me back to reality.

Oh, no. He's holding the card.

"Dear, Hridayansh," he began.

I was internally praying for Hridayansh not to look at me at this moment. Because nervousness would an understatement. I was feeling way more embarrassed than anyone could think of.

"For you, this might be another confession letter that has your name inside it," Karthik read the exact words.

But wait. This almost feels like I'm the one who's confessing...

"I forget about everything around me when I see you. Having you around makes my heart race in ways I cannot explain. I'd tried my best to hide my feelings in front of you. Because you and me, can never be a match in real life. But looks like this evening got different plans for me. Through this letter, I want to express the feelings I've been hiding quietly for so long. You need not know my identity. I'll always admire you from a distance.

- Your Secret Admirer."

The words no longer sounded like a confession. They sounded like my heartbeat being read aloud in front of the boys.

My fingers tightened painfully around the edge of my dupatta as I stared toward the stage in absolute horror.

The lights suddenly felt too bright.

And the worst part?

Karthik was reading it perfectly. As if he was personally auditioning for a confession scene.

My own mind had already stopped functioning properly. Because Hridayansh had started reading the card too now.

Just silently to himself while Karthik and Revant laughed over it.

And slowly, I could see the amusement near his expression fading away. His eyes moved across the words carefully now.

What if he recognized my writing?

"Who could it be?" Hridayansh asked slowly and thoughtfully, looking at all four of us.

I quickly turned my head towards the stage looking at other students collecting their confession letters and gulped down a breath.

"Must be someone serious about her feelings," Taarini spoke, trying not to look at me at all costs.

"Very serious, it seems," Hridayansh answered with a light smirk.

Okay, at this point, I'm almost convinced that he knows that it was me. And I'm completely doomed.

"- Your Secret Admirer."

The words settled somewhere deep inside him long after Karthik stopped reading.

I lowered my eyes toward the card in my hands again slowly. And this time, I looked carefully.

Not at the words, anymore. But at the way they were written.

The letters were slightly tilted and the handwriting, overall, looked soft like a love letter.

Well, now, it is one.

I knew this handwriting. Obviously.

For a brief second, I just stared at the card quietly. Then my eyes lifted toward her instinctively.

Ipsita did not look at me at all. Not even accidentally. Instead, she kept staring toward the stage like the ongoing confession reveals were the most important event of her life.

My eyes travelled slightly down at her palm and fingers. Her fingers kept twisting the edge of her dupatta repeatedly.

A smile slowly formed inside my mind before it could reach my face.

Everything started making sense now.

The little pauses in her voice whenever I spoke to her unexpectedly. The way she hesitated before calling my name. The avoiding eye contact. How she always seemed calmer with everyone else but slightly awkward around me.

In the beginning, I used to think it was in her nature. It must be her personality.

But now I realize that those moments carried meaning behind them.

My eyes dropped toward the confession again.

"I forget about everything around me whenever I see you."

I read the line silently once more and leaned back slightly in my chair, trying not to smile too obviously like an idiot.

And (un)fortunately I'm...

She had a crush on me.

Not a casual one or something that would change everyday. But a real one. Something that she would give her best to hide it but try to reveal in moments like these...

She had no idea that I already knew. (Or maybe she must have guessed it to some extent that I do.)

That somehow made the situation even funnier. And strangely... sweeter and amusing.

The yellow lights hanging across the playground reflected softly against her earrings whenever she moved slightly. The loud music from the stage still echoed around us.

And amidst all of that, my mind stayed stuck on one simple realization.

Ipsita liked me.

And the weirdest part? I wasn't uncomfortable about it even a little. If anything, I felt ridiculously happy knowing it.

For a second, I had this strong urge to confess her that I like her too. But I know these monkeys of mine won't let that be so simple.

"Where's Lavanya?" Revant asked suddenly.

"Lavanya?" Karthik repeated, looking at Lavanya's empty seat beside Taarini.

Oh, wait. She's really not here. Where did she go?

"Guys, where did Lavanya go?" Karthik asked the girls slowly, gesturing towards the empty chair beside them.

"Uhh..." Taarini stumbled. "Her stomach got upset."

"During the event?" he asked slowly.

"Yes," Ipsita nodded immediately with confidence. "Unfortunately, very tragic timing."

"I think you both should check on her," Karthik suggested after a moment, still glancing once toward the direction Lavanya had disappeared earlier.

"No!" both Ipsita and Taarini answered together.

Oh. That was quick and... fishy.

Ipsita immediately cleared her throat. "I mean... she gets uncomfortable when someone checks on her often while she's sick."

"That's true," Taarini nodded with fake seriousness. "She's kind of very private patient."

We tried not to drag the topic further. Both the girls must have been knowing what exactly was the thing so we did not give it a further thought.

The rest of the night passed in fragments of laughter, camera flashes, loud music, and unfinished conversations.

The event, too, ended right after the confessions revelations and the DJ following later.

The playground still remained full.

Groups of students wandered around aimlessly with phones in their hands, dragging each other for "one last picture" every five minutes. Some sat on the stairs near the stage while some exchanged Instagram IDs like they were trading lifelong memories.

And somewhere in between all that chaos, our group stayed together too.

Revant kept clicking group pictures in different lightings and poses. Taarini kept threatening to delete every picture where he stood too close to her. And Karthik still hadn't fully recovered from the accidental confession.

And Lavanya?

The moment she finally returned from her self-imposed exile upstairs, everyone behaved normally for exactly thirty seconds before Revant started laughing again.

Result? She almost threw her heel at his face.

But even while all of that happened, my attention kept drifting toward Ipsita unconsciously.

Maybe because now I knew. Or maybe because after knowing, it became impossible not to notice her.

"Hridayansh, please move a little," Ipsita said quietly while trying to fit everyone into the frame.

I stepped aside instinctively.

Our shoulders brushed slightly for less than a second. But the way she immediately looked down afterward almost made me smile again.

One of the cutest moments tonight.

The pictures clicking session continued for half an hour. It was almost 9:30 PM.

At one point, Karthik attempted taking a candid picture like Lavanya does, and somehow captured only Revant blinking mid-sentence while Taarini looked done with humanity beside him.

That picture was instantly shared to our WhatsApp group chat.

Eventually, the crowd slowly started thinning. Cabs arrived. Parents waited near the college exit gate. Goodbyes started happening everywhere around us.

Tonight has ended officially.

By the time we walked the girls toward the gate, the campus had grown quieter than before.

The girls lend their hands out for a handshake. Everybody shook hands with each other and some side-hugged.

"Congratulations on your confession letter," Lavanya said to Karthik.

Karthik instantly looked horrified again.
"Please stop reminding me."

Ipsita laughed softly beside them while Revant nearly folded in half laughing again.

Then Lavanya turned toward Revant and shook his hand aggressively.
"You are never reading anyone's private letters again."

"No promises," he smiled cheekily.

Meanwhile, Taarini stood at a distance with her arms folded while Revant looked at her expectantly.

"Well?" he asked.

"Well what?"

"Handshake."

"You already irritate me for free daily. Why should I reward you?"

"Because I escorted you safely till the gate."

"You walked beside us and annoyed us continuously."

"Romantically," he added, attempting to correct her last word.

Taarini stared at him for a long second. Then finally sighed like life had exhausted her personally.

"Fine."

She extended her hand reluctantly.

The moment Revant held it, his entire expression changed like he had just achieved a major life milestone.

"Wow," he whispered dramatically. "Guys, look. Her hand is in... my hand."

"Revant," Taarini warned instantly.

"I'm the happiest today," he exploded dramatically.

Taarini quickly smacked his head with her free hand and Revant instantly came back to being normal after passing a cheeky smile to me.

And then slowly my eyes drifted towards Ipsita.

Her eyes fell on me too at the same moment. For a brief second, neither of us spoke. She slowly walked a step towards me and extended her hand softly.

"Goodnight," she said quietly with a warm smile.

I looked at her hand for one second before holding it gently.

"Goodnight," I answered.

For a fraction of second, she seemed to pull her hand away quickly. But stopped for a moment...

Karthik cleared his throat loudly.

Enough for Ipsita to blink her eyes, come out of the moment and pull back her hand.

I glared hardly at Karthik right after Ipsita turned to the other side.

As the girls settled inside the cab, the warm yellow cab light briefly illuminated their faces against the darkness outside.

"Drop texts in the group chat when y'all reach home," Lavanya said, adjusting her lehenga and dupatta.

"This used to be our line," Revant interrupted, pretending to be offended.

Everyone laughed, making the atmosphere lighter and familiar, for one last time.

"Bye, see you all on Monday," Ipsita waved her hands out of the window.

"Bye, bye!"

"Safe journey!"

"Goodnight!"

We waved back at them.

Then the cab finally drove away slowly beyond the college gate.

Revant and Karthik bid their goodbyes too and we parted our ways on our bikes.

By the time I reached home, the noise of the freshers party had faded into distant echoes inside my head.

I tossed my phone onto the bed and loosened the sleeves of my shirt slowly before standing in front of the mirror for a moment. My hair was slightly messy from the wind outside and the collar of my shirt had folded awkwardly after the long evening.

As I unbuttoned my shirt absentmindedly and walked toward the washroom, my mind drifted back to the confession again on its own.

"I forget about everything around me whenever I see you..."

A laugh escaped me softly under my breath.

Maybe a part of me had already noticed long ago.

A small smile appeared on my face again unconsciously. I shook my head at myself lightly.

By the time I stepped out after freshening up, wearing an old black t-shirt and grey track pants...

"Amazing," Maa's voice came from the dining area the moment she saw me. "Mr. Hridayansh finally remembered he has a home too."

I sighed internally. Here we go.

"The freshers party got late, Maa."

"Oh really?" she folded her arms. "And your exams? They'll also get late for you?"

I quietly pulled a chair and sat down near the dining table while she continued staring at me with that disappointed-mother look perfected over years.

"Do you even remember your internals are approaching?" she continued. "Or college nowadays is only for roaming around and parties?"

"I do study, maa."

"Yes yes, obviously. Toppers are born magically. No studying needed."

I rubbed my forehead tiredly while she placed a plate in front of me with unnecessary force.

"You were out the whole evening," Maa continued. "One event happens and students behave like life is finished."

I stayed quiet. Mostly because arguing never helped.

She sat down opposite me finally, still annoyed. "You know how important this year is, right?"

"I know."

"Then act like it sometimes."

My fingers tightened slightly around the spoon unconsciously.

For one evening, I had forgotten about ranks and pressure and expectations. For one evening, I had laughed without thinking about unfinished chapters waiting on my desk.

I finished the dinner as soon as I could and walked towards my room.

My eyes drifted toward the folded confession card resting near my study table. I had kept it there absentmindedly before dinner.

I walked toward the table slowly and picked up the card once more.

The paper had already softened slightly near the folds from how many times I had opened it tonight.

I leaned back against the chair slowly. And for one dangerous second, I let myself imagine it.

What if I actually allowed this to happen?

The late-night conversations.
The attachment.
The waiting for texts and calls.
The emotional dependency.

The possibility of someone becoming important enough to affect my peace...

My smile faded gradually at the thought.

Because the truth was, I could not afford distractions right now.

Not this year. Not when everyone around me already expected too much from me. And especially not when I have to prepare for multiple competitive exams.

It's true that people only saw ranks and marks. They never see the pressure hiding behind them.

The fear of falling behind once.

One failure and suddenly everyone starts questioning your consistency.

I exhaled deeply before finally opening my physics notebook.

This was exactly why I never wanted to get involved in relationships.

Ipsita is sweet and genuine. And moreover, she belongs to another caste. Higher than mine, specifically and unfortunately.

That thought alone was enough to pull me back toward reality completely.

Because no matter how modern people pretend to be outside, some truths still remain painfully unchanged inside homes and the society we live in.

Maybe for others, liking someone was simple. You like them, confess, then date and you figure things out later.

But life had never looked that easy from where I came.

Dad had shifted to this city for finding a job that pays him well. Very well. Irrespective of the caste from where he comes.

Today, he has become a successful software engineer, working five days a week, earning more than his siblings, and providing his family a luxurious lifestyle to live.

I'm aware of the amount of hardwork he must have done to achieve this.

I lowered my eyes toward the closed drawer where her confession letter rested quietly inside.

For the first time in a long while, someone's feelings had reached me this deeply without even trying.

Ipsita never demanded attention from me. She never crossed limits or forced her presence into my life.

And maybe that's why it's difficult for me to let go of this...

A tired breath escaped me slowly.

I couldn't let this go further. Not when I already knew where the road could end.

Because if this ever became serious, one day both of us would have to choose between love and family.

And I hated the fact that reality never lets people keep both.

"Bhai," Divyaansh knocked open the door of my room slightly. "Do sleep on time."

I nodded once. He smiled a little and blinked once before leaving. Though he's younger than me by three years, he understands me the most.

I took a note to myself of sharing Ipsita's confession for me with him someday.

The silence in my room deepened around me. Outside, the city had almost gone to sleep completely. But my mind refused to rest.

For one brief moment, I wondered what would have happened if things were simpler.

If people only cared about whether two people understood each other. If feelings alone were enough to prove love between them.

Maybe then, I would have allowed myself to smile freely tonight instead of sitting here and convincing myself to forget her.

"I'm going to sleep, maa."

"Goodnight, beta. Wake on time in the morning."

The moment I entered my room, the entire night replayed inside my head like one of those scenes from romantic movies I secretly watched at 2 a.m.

I dropped face-first onto my bed dramatically and hid my burning face inside the pillow.

"What have I DONE?" I groaned into the fabric.

Because honestly, the embarrassment should have killed me by now.

And yet, beneath all the nervousness and humiliation sat something else too.

Happiness. Hahah. Pure stupid happiness.

I rolled onto my back slowly and stared at the ceiling.

Did he identify my handwriting?

No.

Maybe.

Wait, what if he did?

My heartbeat instantly quickened again. Because now that I thought about it carefully... he did look at me differently afterward.

Didn't he?

Or was I just being delusional again?

I sat up straight suddenly, replaying every interaction from tonight inside my head.

The way he asked - "Who could it be?", the way he smirked, the way he shook hands with me before leaving...

"Heeee Jagannatha," I whispered dramatically. "Either save me or finish me completely."

Because if Hridayansh truly recognized my handwriting, then that meant he now knew everything.

And strangely, the thought didn't terrify me. Instead, it excites me.

I bit back a smile while opening my phone instinctively. And straight away opening his WhatsApp chat.

There were barely any personal chats between us. Only assignments, presentations and notes related chats.

My fingers hovered above the keyboard slowly. Then before I could stop myself, I typed: "Did you identify who wrote that letter to you?"

I stared at the message before hitting the send button.

No no no. Wait.

Too obvious.

TOO obvious.

I erased it instantly. Then typed again: "Sorry about tonight 😭"

Delete.

"I hope you didn't take it seriously."

Delete again.

Because that was a lie. I wanted him to take it seriously.

I buried my face into my palms dramatically. If simply texting your crush after confession is so difficult, what would I do tomorrow when we sit in the same class and face-to-face in the canteen!?

I smiled faintly to myself while hugging the pillow closer against my chest.

Maybe he was smiling too right now. Maybe he was reading my letter again.

Finally, after almost ten minutes of typing and deleting messages like a mentally unstable person, I locked my phone dramatically and threw it beside me.

I stared at the ceiling again quietly. A soft smile still refused to leave my face.

Somewhere inside my hopelessly romantic heart, I began imagining impossible things already.

What if he liked me too? What if this confession was not the beginning of embarrassment or awkwardness... but the beginning of us?

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